Wednesday, April 25, 2007

TA-DA!

For lack of something interesting to say here is a meme. I would like to tag…..Aimee, Nicole, and, oh hell everyone who reads this…you have exactly 3.2 seconds to fill this out and repost it under the subject “Wouldn’t you like to know”. If you ignore this you will be doomed to 75 years of bad luck.

EDIT: This is totally true you guys. I know a girl who is second cousins twice removed who goes to school with a girl who didn’t fill this out and she got a parking ticket at the mall.

(I’ll send the first person who points out that this is not Myspace a cookie, really, I will, point it out, see what happens)

1.ARE YOU SHY?
nope. I’m the life of the party, every party.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Fighter. Don’t piss off a Virgo. We don’t just get mad, we get revenge. Revenge, in a detailed oriented, type A, sort of way.

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Making another Virgo angry.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
No….there was this thing called outside when I was little. Backyards and Legos did not mix. My sister and I would loose them in the grass. My father would run them over with the lawn mower and send them flying like brightly colored rectangular bebes.

5. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No, I chew on other people’s straws.

6. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Pink with glitter…..prove me wrong….see, you can’t and do you know why? Cause who cares…..why is this a question? Ask me what color my underwear is, or what color I wish my underwear was. In which case purple and red. See how that was more entertaining.

7. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no, but I have swallowed glass. That sounds like just as much fun, right?

8. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I am completely talentless secret or otherwise.

9. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Anywhere that serves cheap drinks. 10. BAD HABITS? I twirl my hair. I constantly get my finger tangled in a knot then I have to cut myself free. Bet you don’t know many people who can get stuck in their own hair. Does that count as a secret talent?

11. CAN YOU SWIM?
like a rock.

12. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
Yep….I will never look at rabbits the same way again.

13. DO YOU GIVE A DANG ABOUT THE OZONE?
Nope. I plan to deplete that and any other natural resource I can. I don’t recycle either. I figure it gives the homeless guys who fish thru my apartment’s dumpster something to do.

14. CAN YOU MACARENA?
Yes, I can also “Do my little turn on the catwalk, yeah , on the cat walk.” Please feel free to insert any other reference to a dance made famous by a crappy song (for instance…. the Bump and Grind, the Tootsie Roll, or the Local Motion)

15. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
I’m the favorite…..does that count?

16. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
Hunting for what? Like hunting for the perfect little black dress, or a pair of jeans that don’t make my ass look like the side of a barn. That is the kind of hunting that I enjoy. Hunting animals. I could care less about. Shoot em, eat em, skin, em, mount em on your wall. Whatever, as long as I am not expected to hang out in a deer blind.

17. WHAT ARE YOU TO ANYTHING?
Well I am “that bitch” to several people on the freeway……

18. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Probably. He had to stage his death to get away from his batshit crazy wife and daughter.

19. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
unfertilized.

20. ARE BLONDES DUMB? Uh….no. Everyone knows that your intelligence is not based on your hair color. It is dependent on your bra size….duh.

21. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
If by “disgusting” you mean magically delicious, then yes.

22. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
YES! Especially when a closet door is open…..something could emerge from there!

23. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
black tar heroin….or Starbucks…..whatever, same difference.

24. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
I’ve been ridden in an Ambulance. J/K I would never…..really I am kidding and not just because I know my mom reads this.

25. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Green.

26. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I knew you were going to ask that question.

27. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
yes, and I wish Holden would have saved us two hundred and something pages and just jumped off a bridge. I HATED it. Why do people what to read about a guy with undiagnosed depression? And then argue that it is this life altering great American novel. That is why we have therapy and lots and lots of prescription meds (for Holden not the idiots that liked the book ( and if you fall into that idiot category all emails can be sent to kiss_my_ass_sucker@yahoo.com)).

28. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Finger castanets are my forte. I can also play the tambourine in a pinch.

29. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN FOOD?
This was not one of my prouder moments….but I was broke as hell and the office bought us pizza for lunch one afternoon. So I stayed late that night and went to the break room and took enough of the leftovers to eat on for the following couple of days. ::before anyone can say it…Yes I know that it would not hurt me to skip a few meals::

30. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Snow is not my friend. Spend nine hours stuck on Donor Summit, after a spin out, late for a sorority meeting, after 72 hours of drunken antics, and see if you ever want to look at snow again.

31. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Yes, but only in certain situations. I think that if you have your spouses name tattooed on your body then you should stick t out through thick and thin. A tattoo is a level of commitment greater than being in a church in front of God and all your friends and family. Just ask Pam and Tommy….no wait…..how about Billy Bob and Angelina…okay no…..damn it. So I guess my answer is no.

2 comments:

Nicole P. said...

Swimming like a rock...nice!

Aimee said...

I'd just like to add "The Humpty Dance" to your reportoire. :P